A Pee-Wee basketball practice at a local park on a beautiful warm and sunny Sunday afternoon. My mother decided to come along.
Until she sat on a bench right next to this guy, (approximately my age) who was already knee deep in conversation with another young lady about a new girl he was dating. My mother, who of course, was listening in, waited about five or so minutes and proudly said she had heard enough. Her question to him still echoing in my mind, simply queried, “Look…is she good in bed?”
Guess I won’t be going back to that park.
Her orthopedic surgeon said it was the worst knee he had ever operated on in over 26 years of practice. But thanks to his talent and diligence, it was a success. Total knee replacement!
The other day, after five difficult weeks of rehab, I took her back to my house to see the kids and hang out for a little bit.
She lit up a cigarette. Outside it was a little overcast, but otherwise a wonderfully quiet weekend morning.
There we were. The two of us. Sitting calmly as if we had always been the best of friends. During a light breeze, I thought to myself, damn. She’s changed. This is awesome. She’s relaxed. She’ll be moving around much better sooner than you know it, and you know? I could easily see us hanging out together and socializing like normal families do. Grabbing a brunch…, having a few laughs, shootin’ the shit…
Here in LA, my mother loves to watch tv.
Specifically, channel 13 as it airs a lot of older, fun tv shows.
In October of 2009, she came up with a great idea.
October 6, 2009
I’ve got a great idea.
I think you should call Seinfeld. He’s on Channel 13. Maybe he could put a character on his show similar to you. Someone who’s a struggling musician doing all sorts of things to make a living. It would be a great addition and I bet Seinfeld would LOVE it! He could even use your music in the episodes.
It was a brainstorm that just came to me.
Never a dill moment.
1. If and when you decide to come to Florida, let me know. I have to order a roll-a-way bed.
2. Don’t confront the stalker who’s bothering Dana. Just call police.
I’m sorry you’re having so much stress. Take an aspirin before going to bed and get a full night’s sleep so you can work.
Enclosed find $20 to help with gas or a lunch?
A Happy Face
Mother nose best.
Just a note to remind you that if you have to pay anyone for anything, write a check from your CHECKING ACCOUNT. Do not pay any other way. If you don’t have enough in your checking account,
wait until you do before you pay any bills.
I have a busy day tomorrow so I’ll try to get to bed early.
P.S. You have a beautiful nose! Don’t let anyone touch it!
Hi! It’s Adam calling.
Is my mother, Joan available?
She’s on her lunchbreak?
Hmmm. I don’t believe you.
Just a note to tell you not to call my office at any time. I’m having a lot of trouble with them and they’re a bunch of liars!
I bet Page 1 would have helped me understand this a little better.
So, don’t listen to all these “do-gooders.” They may even tell you they have done “such and such”. Just because they did it, doesn’t mean it’s right.
Listen to your old mom. I know you think I don’t know much of anything, but one thing you can count on, I’m in your corner.
More than anyone else is.
I’m your friend.
This letter was mailed to Maria and I on May 17th, 2001, several months before we got married. We still hadn’t finalized our honeymoon plans, so of course, an informed suggestion here and there never hurts.
Adam & Maria-
You shouldn’t go to South America on your honeymoon. I was just watching news on TV & the militia in Columbia just kidnapped some more Americans. They have been doing this in parts of South America & it is not safe there. It is not safe in Israel either. Hawaii is safe. Please don’t put yourself in harms way when you’re just starting out together!
P.S. You’re supposed to have a tetanus shot every 10 years. When was your last one given? I think I asked you before.
Self-realization should never come without a little guilt…
I know you think I’m nuts. That’s O.K. I am a little nuts. I don’t care. You’re the only one that cares.
I heard on the news when a child reaches the age of 10, there’s a vaccine for meningitis. The pediatrician will know. They don’t get it before that age.
In case I’m not around.
Hopefully, I can see you before you leave for New York ’cause I have something for you that you can use in New York. I hope if ever you have intruders in your apartment while you are asleep and wake up, you let them have whatever they want and that way, they won’t bother you and leave you alone. Don’t start fighting with them. Keep your windows locked. You’re right on an alley on the 1st floor!
Also, drink bottled water. The pipes in your building are old and the water could contain lead.
(That’s how moms are.)